Pushing Through Failure: The Secret to Lasting Success

Failure. It’s a word that most of us dread. It’s the sting we feel when our best-laid plans crumble, when we miss the mark, or when we experience setbacks that seem insurmountable. Personally, I have never enjoyed failure (I don't think anyone does!), but here's what I've learned from it: failure is not the end unless I let it be the end. Failure is merely a step in the process of growth and achievement. Pushing through failure is what separates those who give up from those who thrive and succeed.

Why Failure Feels So Painful

I have started ventures that did not succeed, been made redundant from jobs, had to walk away from contracts because things were not working out, and been dropped from sporting teams. None of these moments feels good, and each one challenges my self-esteem and personal value and makes me wonder if I have what it takes.

Failure hurts because it challenges our sense of self-worth. We often tie our identity to our achievements. When things go wrong, it’s easy to internalize that as a personal flaw or shortcoming. But failure is rarely a reflection of who we are. Instead, it's a valuable teacher that exposes areas where we need growth, improvement, or recalibration. The key is learning how to push through those feelings of inadequacy and fear.

The Value of Resilience

Resilience is the ability to keep going in the face of adversity. It’s about bouncing back from failure stronger and more determined than before. Many people who are now considered great were once told they weren’t good enough. For example, Walt Disney was fired from a newspaper for "lacking creativity," and Oprah Winfrey was told she wasn’t fit for television early in her career. Both of these individuals faced failure head-on but refused to let it define them. Instead, they used those setbacks to fuel their success.

Reframing Failure as Feedback

One of the most effective ways to push through failure is to reframe it. Instead of seeing failure as a definitive end, view it as feedback. Each failure is an opportunity to learn what doesn’t work so you can get closer to what does. Consider it as a course correction rather than a dead end. Failure is only failure when we stop trying. If things haven't worked out as you had hoped, learn from the experience. It will give you valuable insight when you take on your next venture so you can avoid making the same mistakes.

Ask yourself:

• What did I learn from this experience?

• How can I improve for the future?

• What can I do differently next time?

Answering these questions shifts your perspective from self-pity to self-improvement.

Taking Responsibility Without Blame

It’s essential to take responsibility for your actions when you fail, but there’s a fine line between responsibility and blame. Blaming yourself can lead to a cycle of negativity and self-doubt. Instead, focus on what you can control. Own your mistakes, but don’t dwell on them. Use them as fuel to take better actions in the future.

Developing a Growth Mindset

My first run at an executive position in a company lasted three and a half weeks—yes, you read that correctly—three and a half weeks before I was fired. This can be a real blow to self-confidence. But from this experience, I learned, improved my performance, and made better choices about the types of companies I would work with. I have since held several successful executive positions and am a recognized consultant to CEOs and Boards.

A growth mindset is the belief that abilities and intelligence can be developed through effort, learning, and persistence. When you adopt a growth mindset, failure becomes a stepping stone rather than a stumbling block. It allows you to see challenges as opportunities to grow rather than threats to your success.

People with a growth mindset ask:

• What can I learn from this?

• How can I improve?

• What resources can help me overcome this obstacle?

By focusing on growth rather than perfection, you become more resilient in the face of failure.

Celebrate Small Wins

When you're pushing through failure, it’s essential to celebrate even the smallest victories along the way. Progress can be slow, but each step forward counts. Recognizing these small wins builds momentum and reinforces your belief that success is possible, even when the odds seem stacked against you.

Surround Yourself with Support

Pushing through failure doesn’t have to be a solo journey. Surround yourself with people who believe in you, offer encouragement, and provide constructive feedback. A strong support system can help you regain perspective when failure feels overwhelming. I succeed because i had the support of my wife and family as well as seasoned mentors who could advise and direct me. I also dove into any learning i could to encourage me through the challenging times. You may have a different support system. If you don't have anyone in your life at this time, get yourself a coach, counselor, or mentor to help you through.

Failure Is Part of the Journey

The road to success is often paved with failure. Every failure brings you closer to understanding what works, clarifies your vision, and strengthens your resolve. Embrace failure, push through it, and remember that it’s not the end—it’s part of your journey toward growth and success.

To continue to be your best self, go to www.philkinney.com for more inspiration, blogs, and self-coaching guides.