Is Your Focus Stopping Your Success?

I was teaching one of my daughters, Anna, how to drive in a local shopping center carpark. This car park had two levels joined by a narrow ramp. As we were heading down the ramp, Anna started to steer the car dangerously close to the concrete barrier. I had her stop and turn the wheel back to the middle so we could safely exit the ramp. The next time we went down the ramp, the same thing occurred. This time, we jumped the concrete edging, almost scraping the wall. Again, we adjusted and moved safely out of the ramp. On the third time the same thing occurred. I asked Anna where she was looking. Her reply was, “I am looking at the ramp wall, so I don’t hit it.”

Anna was so afraid of hitting the wall that she focused solely on it and, as a result, steered the car straight at the very thing she wanted to avoid. The next time around, I had Anna focus on the centre of the ramp driveway. Amazingly, the car progressed down the middle of the ramp without incident.

There is an old saying, “You get what you focus on, so focus on what you want”.

If you are not happy with where you are at, what are you focused on? If you are focused on the negatives of your job, family, health, or finances, then you will get what you are focused on—poor health, poor finances, and poor relationships. Science tells us that when we focus on the negative, we shut down the creative parts of our brain. This stops us from producing solutions to problems, stops creative ideas from flowing, and puts us into a state of depression and hopelessness.

So, how do we change this worldview when the situation remains the same—work is still stressful, your family is overbearing, you are short of money, and your back still hurts?

The key is to intentionally introduce steps of gratitude.

Steps of Gratitude involve finding one good thing in your workplace, your family life, your finances, and your health and focusing on it. For example, I have been working for a company that requires me to drive over 100km each way to get to work. Most people around think I’m crazy for driving so far every day. I have to get up earlier than normal; there is the cost of the drive, and it takes a good 2 hours+ out of my day driving. I took the job because it fit with where I was on my life journey and helped me achieve my dreams.

I had a choice: I could either complain each day about the long drive or take a step of gratitude. I decided on gratitude. Partway along my daily journey, I cross a bridge over a river. It is a beautiful spot. If I held a negative view, I would not have appreciated this spot. However, I made a choice. Every day, I would look forward to this spot and see what the view looked like. Somedays, the sun would shine, reflecting off the water; other days, the fog would cloud and provide a frame for the mountains. Regardless of the weather, I have chosen to be thankful that I could experience this beautiful view.

What I have discovered is that I enjoy the ride more; it doesn’t seem as long, and I arrive at work in a better mood, willing to achieve my dreams.  Creative thoughts flood my brain, and I start to conceive new ideas and possibilities for achieving my dreams—all because I have taken a step of gratitude rather than complaining.

If you move your focus onto what you want – an enjoyable job, wonderful family, good health, financial security- you will start to see ways to bring these things about. If you find just one thing every day to be thankful for in each of these areas, your focus will shift from the negative to the possibilities, and you will begin to release creative ideas. It may be how beautiful your spouse's eyes are; it may be that you have a comfortable chair at work. It may be that you have a job and some money to pay your bills. Rather than focus on the pain in your body, be thankful for the parts that don’t ache. As you embrace the positive aspects of your life your attitude will change.

One step of gratitude every day will start to change your focus from the problem to the possibilities, and before you know it, you will be flowing with creative ideas to achieve your dreams.

You have the steering wheel of your life – where are you focused?

For more ways to achieve your dreams, go to www.philkinney.com and subscribe to this blog and purchase a self-coaching book to take the next step to success.